Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Blowing in the Wind at Tesco

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Email: customer.services@tesco.co.uk

Dear Sirs at Tesco,

May it be writ large in local tabloids that, in the face of local planners' opposition, your stalwart resolve to build a wind turbine in the car park at Tesco, Ludlow, is inspired.

Many is the time when the Beaufort scale in Station Street, where your shop is sited, has been sorely tested and experts in the locality have been forced to increase the maximum reading from 12 to 13. Wikipedia now officially rates a ‘Ludlow’ force wind above ‘Hurricane’.

This obvious untapped natural resource has been crying out for a corporate philanthropist such as your kind selves to harness the energy with equipment which could never be seen as an unwarranted blot on the skyline.

Ludlow Tesco staff have often been seen heroically clinging on to small children to prevent them being blown on to the roof by a sudden gust. On many occasions I have found it so easy to enter the store with the aid a Force 11 tailwind only to find it impossible to push my trolley back to the car without the help of a dozen large security guards.

“A waste of such power is a scandal,” I thought as we sweated manfully across the tarmac plucking flying geriatrics out of the air.

And you could never be accused of erecting any eyesore which could be seen as a cheap advertising gimmick.

How could detractors suggest that these svelte edifices might in future be painted in corporate livery thereby creating a easily spotted navigation aid to shoppers?

You may or may not have based your thinking on the fact that Ludlow folk rarely take their knuckles off the floor to notice the machine is just a teensy bit ugly. But well done, you. They’ll get used to it.
The Tesco store itself caused all that commotion and now everybody has grown to ignore it.

No, I say. Fear not the gainsayers. Push onwards with your corporate dream fearing not the local councils and popular opinion. The future is yours and we plebs should be grateful.

Yours faithfully,

G o’Man

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